Am
I actually doing this? Yes, I think I am. So then, Whitney Houston is
dead, which is as tragic as it is when anyone I don’t know dies
earlier than is usual in western countries in this day and age. It
is. At no point during the potentially offensive ramblings that
follow, is the suggestion that it isn’t upsetting when someone dies
implicit. I’m not saying that, because it is. Close family will
hurt, they will be angry, they will feel loss. It is not pleasant for
anyone involved. Hopefully this prologue will absolve me from any
blame or feelings of personal hatred. It won’t, but at least I’ve
tried.
The
thing – well, the first thing – is that I’m not close family.
I’m not even extended family. I’ve not even fingered a cousin at
a wedding. As far as I’m aware nobody I know is related to the
bereaved either, no one at work, no one down the pub: no one. Nor are
the news readers, editors of the many papers reporting to be
devastated, or any of the other media types boo-hooing. Frankly, most
of us had forgotten she existed and, unless The Bodyguard came on,
forcing us to hastily change the channel, we weren’t any the worse
off. Just in case anyone has forgotten the paragraph just up there,
yup, that one up there, I’m not suggesting her death, or indeed
anyones, is good, funny or anything other than sad. Thought I’d
remind you of that because you might have forgotten.
I’m
not trying to single out this most recent celebrity death either. No
no, that’s not me at all. There was Diana (Princess of our hearts
TM), Michael Jackson, Jade Goody and Steve Jobs. All of their deaths
were sad, as stated, and premature. Premature in the sense that,
without the intervention of high speed traffic and pillars, strange
medical conditions and dodgy doctors and horrible, horrible cancer,
all of these people would most likely have lived much longer lives.
They didn’t however, they died. And we went mental, we bloody loved
it – not in a cackling, glad they were gone way (at least, not most
of us) – but in a ‘that gives us something to talk about, feel
caring about, excite our lives with’ kind of a way. Mostly, not in
an evil way, but kind of in a selfish way. It’s ok, it really is,
though it is a bit ghoulish.
In
some cases of celebrity death, before the actual dying part, we hated
them. Like, proper, powerful, seething, unjustified, snobby, weird
hate. They were entertaining to us in their position of hate figure,
just as they would be in their death. A water cooler discussion, a
headline, a distraction, something to make us feel better or worse.
In those instances it is even more hypocritical, ugly and shameful to
suddenly, as they say, spin on a dime, and declare how much we will
miss them, how much they were loved, how much they meant to us.
That’s pretty sick right there. At least be consistent. If you
dislike someone in life, it’s perfectly alright to continue that
dislike of them and what they stood for once they are gone, whilst
respecting the fact that it is a sad event for those involved. But
not you. You’re not involved.
Another
thing that springs to mind is that there are a good few of us who
have probably not gone to an actual family members funeral. A handful
of us who barely mention the passing of a distant relation. Some of
us who even refused to go to the funeral, or be in any way involved
in anything to do with it, for whatever reason. Yet on hearing about
the death of a complete and utter stranger we were mortified. Can
anyone see the wrongness here? Yeah, you can. It’s utterly
ridiculous to cry over the heap of cuddly toys and messages outside
the gates of whoevers home, when you didn’t feel any sense of loss
or sadness for someone within your personal family life, someone who
will have affected you and your self, in some way, even if you’d
rather they hadn’t. The proportions are wrong, the emotions are
topsy turvy, as usual things are somewhat broken.
That’s
not to say one can’t feel a passing sorrow on hearing about
someones death, in fact it is a sign that there is a a bit of
humanity left in you. If it’s genuine sorrow and not News of the
World sorrow that is, but only you can really know that. It’s just
not normal to get hysterical about a strangers death, even an
inconceivably wealthy one who can do something a bit better than most
others. Squirrels don’t do it, even when there’s a squirrel that
can store nuts a bit better than the rest of them, so neither should
you. Squirrels: a good yardstick.
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