It’s
been months since I last blogged. It’s not that I’ve had nothing
to say, or that I’ve absolutely not had the time, it’s more that
I got so overwhelmed by how irrelevant my point of view is. On
anything. Taking a break seemed necessary. Now, don’t think for a
second that I was worried what you thought. No. I was bored of my own
constant opinions on everything, and besides, there wasn’t all that
much going on, and it felt forced and pointless to tap it onto a
screen for all to gaze upon. But here we are again. Another return
from another long break. You must all be so relieved. What have I
been up to? Well, it’s very kind of you to wonder, and as you’ve
been so good and are clearly desperate to know, I shall tell you:
I
got a job I like. Let that sink in, because even a vague
understanding of my past existence will inform that this is akin to a
miracle. Like. Not just don’t totally despise. Like. I’d go so
far as to say enjoy. It’s relatively early days but I’ve passed
the probation and nobody has burst into tears or obviously avoided
eye contact, so it seems like I’ll be ok. This isn’t a dream job
or fantastically well paid, it’s not rocket science and I’m sure
I will have days when I don’t want to go in. Currently, though, the
fact that they do what they say they will and that everyone there
seems to be a reasonable grown up is proving to be enough. Still not
allowed to wear shorts when I deem it warm enough, but y’know, one
step at a time.
I’ve
started writing poems, as well as blogs and songs and scripts and
lists of things I should be doing instead of writing lists. I have
found this to be hugely pleasurable, educational and rewarding. There
is a completely different rhythm to poetry, and a freedom from the
rigid rhyming schemes and requirement that things scan well that song
writing brings. It basically got me back into writing for fun again,
after a lengthy period in which I was just going through motions in
order to save face. A song to freshen the set, a dry business blog to
pay for chips and rum. I’ve found that subjects I’d never feel
right singing about, come across much better in poems, and that a new
voice is required to fill the new boots. If voices had feet. So don’t
be hugely surprised (read: this will happen) if a few of my ‘pieces’
end up on here. Might even video some because, often, I feel
something gets lost when they’re just read.
I’m
performing more. The band is coming along nicely, our original tracks
seem to have a ‘sound’ and we’ve got a new bass player. It’s
all working nicely, with scope to develop in interesting ways.
Importantly, we’re all enjoying playing live, with a bunch of gigs
under our collective belt and a desire to need to get really
stretchy-waisted trousers instead. The recent possibility of
collaborating with some other, somewhat different, musicians is ripe
with potential, and I feel less of a twat holding a tambourine.
Basically, all we need now is to stumble into a fashion or trend and
for more than six people to come see us play, and we’ll pretty much
be there. Oh, and I seriously need an effects box for my voice so
that I can sound like B-Movie aliens or a kidnapper.
Finally
– for now – I’ve become moderately politically engaged. A human
person seems to have blundered his way into leading a political party
and it’s really thrown the Slickbot3000’s off. So I’ve paid
money and joined, and then paid more money in order to be allowed to
vote for him as leader of the party. And I voted in the last locals.
The world’s gone topsy-turvy. What’s great is, I don’t agree
with quite everything that comes out of his scraggly face but he
believes in all of it and doesn’t seem to bullshit and spin. I’m
an idiot though. Like, I genuinely believe that you should vote for
ideas you think are right and good, instead of those doing and saying
anything to get into power. And I think that whether or not you wear
a tie, can iron a shirt well or sing along to nonsense anthems about
clumps of earth, as fairly fucking inconsequential. See: idiot.
That
covers the major events. You won’t give a shit about any of it, but
it’s been a while since I did this and I needed to ease myself in.
Think of your beady eyes as a suspiciously steamy bath and this post
as the cautious toe of a man who hasn’t bathed for a while. Or
think of your brains, all digesting my thoughts and words – my
inner self – and then judging me, as like a recently shotgunned
zombie, twitching and writhing in a shower of its own life force, and
this blog as the double tap of making sure it’s ok. Or don’t.
Either way I’m infinitely more comfortable now than I was at the
top of the page, which can mean but one thing. I’m back, baby. I’m
back.
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