Graffiti
is cool. This isn’t an ill informed, sweeping statement, I’ve
thought about it and it just is. Obviously, by grafitti, I mean
incredible artwork, beautiful lettering and amusing commentary. Not
‘Keith waz ere 98’ or ‘call for cock action’. As a piece of
art. Unfortunately these future collectors items are created and
displayed on public walls, and as such can be fleeting. They are
often covered up before they are even seen, and can be considered an
eyesore by those forced to gaze upon their wonder day in, day out.
Which is a bummer.
However,
all is not lost, because researchers at Bristol University are on the
case. The study revolves around street artist Banksy, who I’m sure
even my mum has heard of, such is his media saturation. The academics
are arguing that his grafitti should be given listed status due to “a
strong interest in his work”, and you might think that it sounds
like a good idea. After all, according to the article
on the BBC News website that got me thinking about this, the Abbey
Road zebra crossing used on The Beatles album became Grade II listed
last year. Did you know that? I didn’t – Hadn’t heard. Which is
odd because it’s one of the strangest things I’ve discovered in a
while. A zebra crossing? Listed? Really? Why would anyone do that, we
are all aware it’s a zebra crossing, aren’t we? I mean, what
about Pink Floyds wall? Is that listed? Bet it’s not, cos someone’s
written all over it.
If
you want your pictures and sculptures and installations – whatever
they are – to have longevity, then produce them inside, in a
sanctioned, designated area or on something portable. For display
purposes. If you make the things you get arty on part of your work,
and those things are, say, an office, it’s a fair bet the end
product won’t be there for long. No worries, unless you want to
sell it and then you’ve got a problem. Actually, I can see a whole
new scam coming out of this: famous landmarks around the world being
sold as nothing but the canvas for an establishment lancing,
satirical image that it holds. Idiot millionaires shelling out
ludicrous sums in order to be part of the scene. To be the new leader
of the cutting edge art scene. To secure a new Banksy. Only it isn’t
a Banksy, it’s a shit drawing of a monkey in a fire engine that I
got Keith to do. You’ve got nothing but a direct line to some
dubious cock action, and now I’m rich! Basically, some pictures are
nice and everything, but if I want a bigger kitchen or whatever I’m
tearing that fucker down.
I’m
not sure about all this listing stuff. Banksy has chosen to daub his
creations on the sides of buildings, billboards and bus stops, on
public display, exposed to whatever fate has in mind. It’s not a
canvas, it’s a risk – something that I’m sure Mr Banksy is
aware of. It seems probable that he is prepared for a white wash, in
fact that seems to be the point of graffiti: it is temporary. Surely
the danger of loss and the excitement of the socially frowned upon
act is part of the thrill. Because it’s either something like that,
or that people just want to look hip. And it’s clearly not that.
Definitely. You just can’t go round listing everything the man has
ever scribbled on, that’s silly, and anyway it’s on a wall, so
tough. I can’t imagine that everyone who has a stencilled
masterpiece on their property would want it there forever. Of course
now they’d just sell it – they’d be stupid not to – but the
value is not important here.
Shouldn’t
these things be listed for a reason and not a price? I realise there
are a few reasons you could cite in explaining such a decision, but
they’re rubbish. Yep, even that one. It’s a bus stop, and that’s
a zebra crossing. They are nothing more or less, and actually that
wall looks better white. Where will it all end? We will have to start
working out who’s going to get popular and famous, and list all
their stuff instantly. Some sort of Minority Report future in which
the Pre Cogs can see who the masses will bestow with greatness and
alert the authorities. We’ll be able to preserve everything for
future generations. There’s probably a public toilet somewhere,
previously frequented by George Michael, that my children’s
children will never be able to enjoy. And that makes me weep tears of
culture lost. Or it would if I had a heart.
So
then. Graffiti is cool, but it’s still graffiti. Take a picture and
paint over it so someone else can have a go, and if it’s really
good – if it’s really, really good – buy some bricks and build
your own canvas, one you can keep or sell. That way, when the bubble
bursts and no one cares for your pretentious, smirking, smug-arsery
anymore, you’ll have learnt the art of brick laying as well. People
will always need new walls.
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